Pride

Today marks the end of a very long work week. My boss for double booked and I ended up shooting for 6 hours last night. Then Pride Fest was this weekend and I had to work the booth, which was easy but I'm still tired. It's amazing the difference my 2 pregnancies have been. I was working 40-50 hour weeks with Sylvia up till 7.5 months when my blood pressure got too high and sent me part time. This round, it's tiring to work what I've been, which is 15-25 hours/week. Guess all pregnancies are different. I am working full-time running after a 2 year old, but my stamina is definitely lower. I finally got put on Nexium for the nausea and heartburn and am starting to feel better at night. I hat taking meds unnecessarily, but I was vomiting or feeling pukey every night. That's no fun.
This week is much more mellow, Eliot and family are outta town, along with my photographer boss. So it's maxing and relaxing for us. Yea! Plus the weather is perfect and that always makes for a happy girl.
Plus, I get to go to Dave's show at Atomic Cowboy on Thursday (it's also a non-smoking bar, a plus for the preggers). I can't believe it's almost July and it's like 67 degrees out. In St. Louis. The world is definitely ending.

Yea for Elizabeth!

Send well wishes and congrats over to Elizabeth! Her family just got work their baby from Korea will be here in like a month. And if you comment her something along the lines of holy shitfuck, you will automatically be considered very funny. Except I already did it. And I'm still getting emails about it. Craft mafia girls underestimate my powers of inappropriateness!

Why?

Why am I still throwing up, nauseous all the time, and feeling downright shitty? Yet, when people ask me how I'm doing, I always reply, "much better, thanks." Who am I kidding? I want to go upstairs and go to bed but I think I may puke instead.
Happy 14 weeks to me!!!
I am grateful to be here, just feeling yucky lately.

My So-Called-Life

So I know I've been unbloggerish lately, but dammit, I've been busy. I've been b-sitting Eliot (16 months) 3 days a week (mix in my own 2 year old, dash a few tantrums in there, and laugh at my insanity),and suddenly have shot 2 gardens in 3 days ( I shoot freelance for St. Louis Magazine At Home). Needless to say, I've had my hands full. So full that days will go by when I completely forgot about my pregnancy. That this is the last summer of me and Syl hanging out. We will go from 3 to 4 and I'm kinda shitting my pants right now (this time, it's figurative).

Yes, I have some humor about it all. Amidst this chaos, Dave and I decided to rearrange 3 rooms in our house. at night. while Syl is still awake and watching us throw out our backs. Aren't I supposed to be relaxing and glowing about now? Oh, and there's more. I just got super booked with the photographer I work part-time for and Dave is out back as we speak digging up post holes to lay our privacy fence. I don't think we have too much on our plates, do you?

I've also, somehow, taken to crafting up somewhat of an incomplete storm. I say incomplete because although I've been making tons of stuff, I keep getting sidetracked with new projects, hence leaving many a project in the dust. The fabric-painted-embroidery animal frames? Now on Sylvia's wall, moved on from those. My plush embroidered animal dolls? Halfway done and tucked away, never to view the daylight again. I've made 3 mobiles that I love, but they are just kinda hanging out lifeless. I know it's ok, but I have 2 big craft show entry deadlines fast approaching and want to enter these items. Luckily, in the Big Move of '08, we relocated my crafting area into a well-organized, efficient area. I was crafting on our dining room table, where once a week I had to move everything off of it for in-law family dinner.

And......pregnancy-induce melodramatic story ahead:
I walked Syl over to the Tower Grove Farmer's Market today to swim in the wading pool. There is a booth that sells freshly made crepes. Initially, the line was too long. So we swam and hung out with friends for awhile. When Syl sat down with Eliot for their snack (I swear these 2 could snack ALL day, no joke), I left her with Heather and decided to get my fat pregnant ass a yummy crepe. Upon ordering, I noticed there were 4 people ahead of me. Blah blah blah, long story short, after a few more people ordered and were waiting, this very tall guy ordered. And guess what he got before anyone else? Yes, they immediately handed him a crepe, the same crepe about 6 other people were standing there waiting for. At this point, I had been waiting over 5 minutes, so other people must have been waiting longer. My hormonally-crazed ass marched right on over and was all, "I've been waiting for some time now and that guy just ordered, what's up?" Crepe dude got all flustered and confused. I told him I wanted my money back and my tip, since I assumed all would go smooth and tipping is in my blood. He obliged, but I stormed off holding back my tears.
P.S. Crepe Asshole: If a pregnant lady orders a crepe, don't let some non-pregnant DUDE cut in line.

End of a trimester ramblings

As I am about to enter my 13th week of pregnancy, also known as the beginning of the 2nd trimester, I am still in a weird state of mind about it all. I'm starting to pooch out for sure. Though I've only gained a pound, fat has definitely decided to settle and make me look 5 months along. What can I do though, my body has a mind of it's own. But besides that, its hard for me to be completely complacent and accepting of this pregnancy. I guess after 2 losses, I'm finding it difficult to believe this one is going to come to fruition. I've seen the heartbeat on the u/s, I've heard the heartbeat through the doppler. My dr. has no worries or concerns, and I'm not even considered high risk. This is probably a common feeling amongst those who have lost pregnancies. But I was definitely more glowy at this point with Syl. I guess I was naive that anything could go wrong. Now, I read countless blogs and articles about the devastating things that can and do happen in pregnancies, I'm pretty much scared shitless. Maybe if I don't think about being pregnant all the time, I can mindlessly navigate to full term. Doubtful, but ambitious.

On a totally different tone, I've been crafting lately like a maniac. Of course, there is no photographic evidence of this as of yet, but I've been on to new endeavors, craftily speaking. I've been experimenting with embroidery (wow, much harder than it seems), fabric collaging with embroidery rings, plush toys, and nursery mobiles. I've been inspired by so many design-oriented blogs and sites that it has ignited the beacon of making stuff in me. I will (hopefully) be doing 4 more big crafting shows this year, ending it out with the birth of this baby and the pause in all things artsy. I'll post pics upon completion.

I'm Raising a Nudist

We had Eliot over to the house again this morning. And what entertains toddlers more than anything? Water. Naked water. They little ones were stripped down to their birthday suits and entertained themselves in these buckets of water for over an hour. Sorry Heather, naked is just plain easier. Upon E being naked, Sylvia pointed and said, "What's that?" with a most curious tone. Which is pretty funny since she bathes with daddy every other night still. Anyway, that was the end of the curiosity and the fun began. E enjoyed dumping buckets of water on himself and trying to drink the water from his fingers (sorry again, Heather. it was hose water). He probably didn't get much anyway!

And if you happened to drive up my street around 6 tonite, you say my child, naked as jay-bird again. I had to run outside and snap these. Modesty is not our policy here.

12 Weeks

Today Sylvia and I spent all morning getting poked and prodded at the Dr's office. She tolerated the waits like a champ, though I told her when the Dr. was in the room she needs to sit quietly and behave, or else she may get a shot. Like the evil mother I am, I lied. The look on her face when the Dr. walked in was priceless! Needless to say, she behaved like the perfect angel, and didn't get the dreaded shot. Bad karma, bad.

We got to hear the the tiny's heartbeat. 160 bpm! Yea baby! Keep on a growing!. It's moments like this when the pregnancy becomes a reality of a future sort= we will have 2 kids. I know I'm not the first, but it's a first for me! Next appt will be into my 2nd trimester (which is always debatable when that technically occurs), at 16 weeks. Then, the big gender appt. Yea! If you ask Syl what the baby will be, she always says boy, though she calls it a she. I've done the ring test, about 2 weeks early, but that secret will be all mine. Insert devilish laughter here.

Month 25

Sylvia,

As you've entered your 25th month, a new dawn has swept over you. I'm sorry to say, it is a stormy, tumultuous dawn, not the orange-glow sunny dawn that most would desire as they awake every morning. No, your new dawn is dark and shadowy, with unexpected curves and very deep potholes. Sorry parents of those under 2, but it gets kind of terrible.

Not only have you abandoned the last year of good sleeping patterns by waking one or two times a night, but you have been getting up an hour earlier than usual. Up till about 1.5 months ago, you'd sleep 7:30-7. Perfect. Blissful. Joyous to all. You'd awake energized, full of spunk, and ready to face a new day full of adventure. Now you finally get to sleep around 8:45, awake anywhere b/w 1:30 and 3, then are up for the day at 6, 6:15 if we prayed hard enough the night before. Then you take long midday naps, from 12-2 or 2:30. I know that is part of the problem here, but alas, I'm preggers and have been spoiling myself by napping with you. So it's hard to shorten what is needed by us both. And now, when you awake in the morning, you are yawning, crabby, and ready to be placed in time-out #1 of the day by 8am. Not so joyful and no more bliss.

But this isn't the only sudden change. No matter how many times I've denounced the terrible 2's, for I think if you project something onto someone enough it is bound to occur, you have entered them. I've started telling you to change your attitude so many times a day that it would seem as though you are 15 years old. You know shoot me this look that is full of defiance and vengeance (maybe I'm just tired). You've begun to yell "NO" when you used to obey. You slapped me on the arm for the first time and pushed Eliot over twice in one day. What's up kid? I can probably find you a good boarding school to be shipped off to if necessary. But idle threats mean nothing to you. NOTHING.

But you are making a positive change towards becoming my little personal helper. You pushed the toddler grocery cart around at Trader Joe's last week and it seemed as though you were in heaven. I didn't even grab a big cart. We just meandered around filled the tiny one to the brim. You loved it. You are also becoming so helpful with other kids, like Eliot, whom we know nanny for a few days a week. You'll hold his hand, help him up if he falls, and share (if I'm watching you). When we went to the library, you read him books and talked to him so sweetly. You also helped clean up after you were both done playing. I really REALLY hope that this is a tendency that carries through to our newest bundle. The amount that you enjoy babies astounds me for someone of your age, but it's always a different story when the baby never leaves. And is constantly on mama's boobs, and attached in a sling 24 hours a day. We'll see, the road is long till that one.

We tried out a preschool this past month, for a possible spot in late fall/winter. You had a blast, but mainly because your friend Ava was there, and she won't be in the same class next year. I can't decide if preschool is the right option for us, but I feel like next winter, when I'm tied semi-permanently to a newborn, preschool may be the best escape for you. That stressful decision doesn't need an answer yet, but it's on my mind.

I still can't believe how amazing of a girl you're becoming daily. You loved our mini-vacation, and joyfully attended 2 weddings in 1 week, which is a feat for most adults. My heart melted when you were up on the dance floor with 4 year old Izzy, dancing like you were trying to break free from something. You were dancing with your eyes closed, almost falling asleep, but trying so hard to keep on going. You have your mother's crazy drive.

For this, and all things about you, I enjoy you everyday. Kind of except in the middle of the night. Not that enjoying then, but I'll take it.

Love you,

mama

We're Baaaaaack!

Just arrived home from our 6 day odessy of traveling the midwest with a toddler. All in all, it was a successful adventure. Though I do have to admit the new love I have for long car trips and portable dvd players. It made the super long stretches fly by. We visited most of my family, attended (I worked) my friend's wedding in Iowa, and spent an awesome 2 days in Chicago. Sylvia got to play in the sand and water at Lake Michigan, see sharks and dolphins at Shed's Aquarium, ride a taxi, a metro, and a trolley in one afternoon, and eat way more junk than ever allowed. Minus the fact that she lost a few hours of sleep every day, which causes cranky toddlerish behaviors, it was a fun trip. Plus, I got to shop at Ikea on the way home. Needless to say, we will be making a return trip in the fall with a big truck. I need more stuff from there. We got Syl and awesome kids table and a huge bookshelf, plus some knickknacks for baby #2's room. Being pregnant didn't really slow me down, it just costs a bit more to feed me!

We got incredibly lucky and were able to stay at a free apartment 4 blocks from the lake. It really couldn't have worked out any better for us. It's hard to have such an unpredictable schedule with a 2 year old on vacation. Having that place to stay made it a smooth transition. All I know is I can't wait to sleep in our own bed tonite! Here are some pics. My camera was incredible cumbersome to carry everywhere, so we took a lot of video. But here are a few anyway. Plus one of Sylvia kissing Floppy, her cousin's bunny. Pretty much her new favorite thing in the world.