Just a photo

Not much to report today, just thought I'd update my New! Favorite! Thing! photo. I haven't had much time to work on it, so I'm only 2 rows farther along than last time. But I will say that I'm still loving working on it and I still have a long way to go. So I think this will be the last update until I make some serious progress. Tomorrow we're off to the pool, where I spend most of the time nursing little man in the shade while Sylvia swims with her daddy. I keep everything shaded except my legs. Boy, are they pale.

Fat Guy in a Yellow Bumbo

We awoke today to Easton popping his first 2 teeth! Maybe the next monumental occurrence will be sleep! Then napping without nursing the entire time! One can wish, right? Really, Easton has become a bubbly, happy, full-blown laughing baby. I LOVE this stage, his total body smiles, his eyes following me everywhere I go, his genuine laugh when his sister does anything at all. His smile is so enchanting, he even had a group of 6th graders oogling him at the park tonite. I think he's almost ready to start with solids, but I'm taking a bit of a lazy approach to the whole thing. Another mouth to feed requires more preparation on my part, and frankly, I'm just so tired all the time, it's hard to muster the care to do it. The chunk is almost 20 lbs, so all is good in his belly. But his 6 month birthday is coming up, which leads me to be at least thinking about solids.

Our days here have been hectic, both physically and mentally. The onslaught of relentless rain doesn't play well with a toddler and an overly-hyper mother. Plus I stopped taking the mini-pill. More on that later... Regardless of the hormonal imbalances in my life, the total lack of sleep, the moodiness of my 3 year old, and the Seattlish weather, my fuse is short these days. I totally lost my patience and yelled at Sylvie the other day (sorry you had to witness, Heather!). I apologized to Syl, which I try to do every time I do something obviously wrong, but the guilt remains. I know the things I need to do to have good days, and yet, with all the mentioned stuff and my postpartum mind, my tolerance for things is running thin. I think that is why I'm really enjoying this quilt project. Its really helping me center, focus, build confidence & esteem, and keep my mind occupied. Next goal? A regular workout plan. I haven't walked all week and that really gets me down. I'm trying to think of a direction I want to go in to release the physical stresses and help me win back my body. Boxing, anyone?

Something I say to Sylvia everynight, whjich I need to remind myself, "tomorrow we do it all again." And so it is, another day.

Progress

Sorry, the pride I'm feeling with making this is overflowing to you through constant updates. Because I know the last thing you're currently thinking about is how my NEW! FAVORITE! THING! is going. And I'm sorry to say that this won't be the last update.

What Makes Holiday Weekends Worth It

I love 3 day weekends, as does everyone else in the world. As an at-home mama, the breaks are few and far between, so it's never about that extra day of relaxation. No, these holidays allow me to actually get things done due to an extra adult hanging around. Last night, as the youth of the nation were having their drinks and celebrating graduations and what not, I did laundry and finally mopped my floors. PARTAY!And today, the most majorist of events took place: I started my first official quilt! I've been waiting to begin until everything else settles, or at least calms for the moment. I'm being realistic and starting slow and small, which is also why I chose this style of quilt to make. You don't need to pre-plan the size. It's very time consuming to prep, but once the initial cutting, folding, ironing, folding, ironing, ect.. is complete, the pieces come together rather quickly and oh-so-totally satisfyingly. I love gratification of the making stuff sort. And this, my friends, is right up that street.

It's called a cathedral window quilt and I got the inspiration here. I'm so proud already, just a little disappointed that I didn't opt for the thicker white broadcloth. You don't normally need to back this quilt, but this ones gonna be too thin to use for warmth. It may just be a throw, or a wall hanging, or something I hug often.

Another thing I was able to accomplish today was the homemade butter recipe. This is my 3rd attempt, though it's the easiest recipe in the world. Just add heavy cream and mix feverishly. My kitchen aid was too messy, the food processor wasn't working it properly, so I concluded that this handheld contained mixer thingy was my best option. And lo and behold, we have fresh, homemade butter. Next on my list? Sleep.

Officially Unofficial

Today marks a new day, as far as I'm concerned. Summer is officially here (well, not technically, just officially, get it? anyway...) as the local pools have opened. We were unsure how to go about the whole swimming/pool/who holds what kid thing, but today it was solved. My mother has a second home here in St. Louis and her district was just added to our favorite pool, making us available for the resident rate. Upon finding this glorious news out last night, we promptly awoke to get our family membership. Sure, it's my mom's address and not our address technically, officially we saved $180 and that is just fine by me. And in the end, my mom bought us the pass which in turn saved us another $120. 

What did we do with this new membership? Well, we went swimming. Sure, it was only 84 degrees with 55% humidity (unseasonably cool for the Lou), but I was determined to celebrate the official beginning of the season with a cold dip in our favorite pool. Sylvia was ecstatic and we all had a blast. Easton could've cared less, as he stayed out of the chilly waters to sleep on my wet swimsuit.

All this happiness is a welcome treat after a stressful, hormonal, crabby week. Nothing like squeezing into a slightly tight suit with an unshaven, unkempt, post-2 baby's body to start the season off right. I've really accepted what I'll never look like, what I hope to achieve with my body, and how many people that go to this pool are wearing suits WAY less appropriate than me. 

"We're all the same when you turn out the light" as Shel Silverstein says. 

The Fat

I am officially at a weight standstill. After shedding almost 30 lbs immediately after birthing Easton, I have plateaued. I'm here to admit that I gained well over 30 lbs during this pregnancy.  So even though it sounds like a lot, its not all of it. My "ideal weight" is about 18 more lbs to go. This last amount of weight, always the hardest to get off, would put me a bit less than pre-Easton pregnancy weight, and a little above pre-Sylvia weight. I'm being realistic here, I'm not trying to do the unthinkable. What exactly am I doing to shed the pounds? I can state that I'm not dieting, at all. I suck in that department and I am exclusively breastfeeding, which merits me extra cheese and extra chocolate, please. I walk a lot, and push around 2 heavy kids, but anything extra? Who has the time? I really want to get rid of my flabdomen, but am I doing any sort of ab workouts? Nah, again, if I have a free moment, I clean (or blog).

And though I won't photograph myself for any before/after crap, I will photograph the fattest baby I know:

Can't gnaw on those rolls enough!

Anyway, it took me  a long time to lose my Sylvia pregnancy weight, but I figured this would fly off way faster, since the initial 30 lbs did. But alas, like so many mothers before me, I am at a weight loss halt. Will you see me at any WW meetings anytime soon? No thanks, I'll just write about it here and hope that a free gym membership may land in my hands. Cuz that's the only way I'll justify joining a gym right now. Especially after turning down work from my old boss because my baby and boobs don't yet permit me to be apart.

Ahh, the life of a s.a.h.m.

Grateful, a little bit

The last few days must have somehow appeased the crabby mommy gods because last night Easton slept from 7:30 pm to 5 am. The heavens opened up, the angels sang, and all was right as I slept so soundly. Though I could be all negative about how my boobs exploded milk all over me and the bed from such a long lack of nursing and now I have tons of laundry to do. But no, I'm going to be thankful for this one.

Thank you Easton!

Neverending

It's only Tuesday and I can honestly say this is proving to be a damn hard week. Sometimes I feel like all I do is vent on this here blog, but it is just where I'm at right now. Easton is in super-uber-teething mode, showing signs like runny nose, excess drool, unhappy, nursing non-stop all day. I have been without a child on me for a total of 5 minutes today. I missed lunch and now have a headache, never fun. Oh, and the kicker: Easton shat all over me this afternoon while sitting on the front porch. I was dripping with runny poop. Honestly, I'd rather his strictly breast milk poop than Sylvia's real human poop, but still. Gross. 

And now I'm going to be proactive about the whole situation and buy something for myself online. Because doesn't that make everyone feel better?

The Great Attacher

Life around these neck of the woods has been hectic, to say the least. What I've been up to, I can't exactly put my finger on it. I'm tired, I need a break, and I don't foresee one anytime soon. Before I had Easton, I swore I would introduce, and continue, with a bottle. My mom even bought me a gently used pump, which sucked the milk, and the dignity, right on outta me. But those of you that breastfeed and stay home with your kids know this already: it is hard to find time to pump. Milk in the fridge would go bad and be tossed, I would be frustrated about it, and when Dave would attempt to feed him the bottle, it was too little too late. Easton is now 5 months old, and the window to introduce a bottle is, in my opinion, 2-4 weeks. If you don't start right away and do it consistently, at least with my babies, it always fails to work. You try and put the bottle to their lips and they make this 'what is this, what do you expect me to do with this' face.  Let's be real, the real nipple is much different than a plastic nipple and my babies don't like plastic nipples. In fact, my babies don't appreciate plastic in their mouths whatsoever (nipples, binkies, anything). Neither of them are very good self-soothers, though Easton has found his thumb and will suck it if desperate. So lately, the new fad with my sweet baby, is to nurse for his entire naps. In fact, in the middle of writing this post, 5 minutes after nursing him to sleep, he woke in a crazed screaming panic because the boob! the boob is gone! where is my boob?! get back here right now with my BOOB!

Yes, that's a whole lotta boob. But seriously, what gives? I have no time as is, and nap time was always my precious get 1 or 2 things done. Now? I barely have time to update my complaints to the lovely blogosphere. 

It's only for a short time,  it's only for a short time.

P.S. this attachment to my boob things also lasts all night long. any suggestions on how to switch my baby to nurse while awake, instead of while sleeping?

4 years later...

And we're still married. I guess I knew that would happen, especially since I birthed his offspring!! Yes, it's our 4th anniversary (11th year together). And wow, that makes me feel real old. Since we have no babysitter, celebrations were kept to a dull roar. Dave woke up before me (though am I ever really asleep?) and took the kids downstairs, where he then made a breakfast way too big to eat. So sweet.  When he returned home from work, I dashed off to the salon to get over 4" of my hair chopped off. Yeah! It feels so nice... but damn has the price escalated! I picked up Mangia and had a lovely cocktail while I waited for our take-out. Mommy needs to keep a bottle of vodka at home, vodka makes mommy a little happier.

Anyway, dinner was lovely, getting my hair done was lovelier, and to top it all off? Impromptu photo shoot with a crazy toddler and happy chubby baby. I'm thinking of making a coffee table book for our house called 'The Many Faces of the 3 Year Old." I'll post those later in the week. Gotta spread the posts out these days. 

So I leave with a photo from our wedding day. After looking through these old photos I realized that babies age you and make you look very tired. But at least I have these wedding photos to really remind me of that!!

5 months

Today my little man turns 5 months old. Its crazy, its going really fast, and I have no time to post a long love letter today. But I'll tell you this: I love him awful crazy. He's squishy, smiley, huggable, just discovering grabbing with his hands and feet, and squealing with delight over everything. I love this stage, then one before they talk, move, or boss you around like there's no tomorrow. He sleeps well about every other night, but its ok. He's back in bed with us after the first feeding, I'm just too tired to be bothered with the crib. And he can spot me from far away, which melts my heart into a gooey mess. I love him, I'm glad he's here, and I can't wait to get to know him more.

Here's a quick photo I just snapped on my point-n-shoot indoors with no flash, so pardon the slight blurriness. The smile he is showing is a constant now. Must-hit-the-freeze-button.

Moms Unite (to take a nap)

Mother's Day is always a welcome event in my household. Anything to make me feel spoiled, anything to provide me with some sort of break in our normal routing, is a (as Martha says) a good thing. We woke up to a beautiful morning, walked to Mokabe's for brunch, and then the good stuff came: Dave took Sylvia for the afternoon. They went out to Lone Elk Park to explore, napped in the car, then ended on a playground to burn some energy. I was able to sew, making myself and Sylvia new skirts (yea for knit fabrics!), clean, and make some bread and homemade pasta. Our friends Clare, Sophia, and baby Oliver joined us for dinner and wine. Then, my lovely husband took the bigger kids on a bike ride to the park. As the babies slept in our arms, we drank wine and enjoyed the silence. Ahhh, moments almost alone.

To all the mothers out there, I hope your day was filled with some sort of gracious break, a nap, a cup of coffee alone, a piece of cake, or all the above. For those with babies in their tummies, I wish you peaceful final moments. To those with babies on the mind, I wish you all the luck in fulfilling your babymaking dreams (been there, know how it feels). And for those with babies no longer with you, I can only hold mine closer , kiss them extra, and try to appreciate every moment. 

A Note To Gums Everywhere

Oh teeth, why must you wreak such havoc upon entry? I mean seriously, humans have had teeth since pre-human days. Has it always been this difficult to emerge? What, pray tell, did cave-babies chew on? Did they simply spit on all their furry clothing? Did they gnaw on bones till raw? Can't evolution give us moms a break in one silly area? Please, evolution. Please allow teeth to come in gently, smoothly, non-encompassing of my sweet baby's life. It's really destroying sleep, sanity, and his poor little fingers.

Thanks

On turning 3

It was a Saturday three years ago that I awoke, the last day I would have my daughter in my belly. She was lovely the last night, letting me sleep in until 7 am.  When I awoke, I knew my life would never be the same. 

How things changed for me were monumental, and yet beautifully wonderful. Becoming selfless to an innocent little creature is an everyday challenge, even to this day, but the rewards children provide are priceless. The way she looked at me that first night, after venturing out from the dark familiar, was the only thing that needed to convince me she would be my world forever. 

Of course, our world has expanded to fit a new little man, but she is my first born. She was my first lesson to becoming the mother I am. She got the brutal twists of postpartum, she heard the frustrations in my voice over the time-consuming challenge that is exclusive breastfeeding, she endured the mishaps and missteps of our everyday. But you know what? She didn't care, never judged, and always smiled at me like I was the only one in the world to her.

As Easton gives me those looks now, I am reminded that it is all so fleeting. Of course Sylvia still things the world of me, but it is now full of a new challenge: the tyrannical threes. The looks of love and filled with bribes, tantrums, utter bossiness, lack of manners, and all the defiance and "discovering of one's will" that is really normal for this age. 

I know this will be a fun year also, one that begins to fine tune her interests, develop her skills, and express more of her personal identity. Children are mirrors, frames, and viewpoints. She picks up pieces of myself, my husband, and the many lovely people who are in her life everyday. I have become much more cognisant of the sponge-ish nature of the toddler, but I've also realized that much of Sylvia's ways are hers. She is going to be bossy, no matter how many times I ask her to stop and be aware of her bossiness. She is going to be strong willed because that is what she knows best. Her sense of humor is evident because she sees life in a humorous, non-serious way. That is her, and she is wonderful.

Thinking about the past 3 years would encompass way more than what I want to write today. Someday, if Sylvia would ever be curious about how she was entering her third year on life, she can read this and know how passionate her mother is about making life easy, enjoyable, entertaining, exciting, expressive, and any other word you can think of that starts with an 'e'. 

I want her to know how lucky she is, and how lucky we are to know her. I don't want to be overly-ambitious and state that my daughter is going to be president someday, or how she's going to change the world. No, my daughter will be whatever it is she is meant to be. And the important thing she realizes is we will love her no matter what. Her impact on us and the people we know in the 3 years she's been around says enough about her.

Happy Birthday my sweet child.

Saturdays at the Home Studio (aka our couch)