Yay!

After many long hours and procrastinations of other important things, my revamped website is up and hopefully running smoothly. Of course, I'm sure I spelled a work or two wrong, but that can all be worked out. I now have a wedding portion up and am excited to offer this service to the beautiful folks of St. Louis. Thanks for being so supportive, friends. My hair could not get any grey from all the stress!

Know of anyone newly engaged? I'm rather affordable compared to other photographers in the area, but my work is creative and appealing to those that are seeking an alternative to the typical "in the box" poses. So send them over here!

And happy 4 years of blogging to me! Can't believe it, but I started this when Syl was a wee lass, and now she is a sassy lassy. Time flies...

ReVamp

I've been putting off any and all editing to revamp my website. "But didn't you just redo your website a few months back?" you may be asking yourself? Yes, friends, yes I did. But I am totally in love with shooting weddings, something I can't even believe I am saying out loud. So I'm going back and redoing everything and adding a section with some of my wedding work and hoping to book some 2012 gigs. Because really, people are booking for 2012 at this point. Seems insane, right? Well, I'll tell you now that my July is almost full second shooting weddings, and October is completely full. At this rate, I'll be seeing white for quite some time now.

I do still shoot for a couple different photographers in the area, which is a rather sweet situation. It's way lower stress, way less pre & post-production (and way less money, but that's ok for now). Lots of my bookings are this way, and it works to a degree. My issue is when I'm booked to second shoot and someone contacts me about shooting their event. Though it's always hard to say no, my obligation is with my first booking. Once an event is in the calendar, be it for my own business or working with someone else, I don't switch it up. I want to remain on a level and report with other area photographers that enables trust and security. I don't want backstabbing, I don't want negativity. This is a strange industry, I want people to want to work with me, not talk smack about my ethic.

Strange things have come up lately with people I've had work for me and it's really opened my eyes to how I want my operation to work. Listen, I know I'm not the first photographer in St. Louis to take clients to the graffiti wall to get portraits done. It's not about that, it's about being creative and innovative within your body of work, developing a relationship with clients so they'll want to do another session with you, getting comfortable with young kids so they'll give you an authentic smile. I am building a strong team of employees that I need to be able to trust and count on, not mimic my look. It's a fine line, and it burns. But I'm here to admit my flattery on other photographers, on other's influence on my work. I search the internet everyday through some of my favorite national and international photographers, and some are definitely an influence on my work here. We are all striving to be more creative, innovative, and push our field to the next level.

So, I'm tirelessly pushing forward with my site. I'm not doing too many portraits (yet) in July, and I'm hoping to get completely caught up with all my editing and start with some marketing. Because I am going to blink and it will be holiday card time. Sheesh.

Lucky

I'm feeling very lucky and grateful today, which are two difficult emotions for me to grasp. Why should I feel optimism when there is so much negative in the world? Sometimes, it's ok to be selfish with feelings, I believe. Sometimes it's ok to let it all in and thank the pleasant breeze for letting you be in this place and be happy.

I'm lucky that I get to photograph such wonderful, lovely people on a regular basis. I'm lucky that people, total strangers, are trusting of my creative vision, my need to push for more, my drive to go above and beyond. I'm thankful for my family, my husband, that loads the equipment in my car before leaving for his very tiring and demanding job. I'm grateful for extended family that take their mornings off to hang out with my children. I'm thankful that my kids kiss me good-bye with not an ounce of sadness, but with a kiss of "good luck" and "we can't wait to see you when you get home."

And finally, I'm thankful that I was able to finally come to this place in life. Here, at age 33, I get to do what I love all the time, and someday, just maybe someday, I'll make a living off of it!

More images from this session here.

Shaken

In a total act of spontaneous craziness, one that has left me still shaking, I feel the need to post this here. After we went swimming this evening, the kids, my mom, and I headed to get a tasty treat at Dairy Queen. We were done eating and waiting for Dave to arrive (which he never did), when a large group of teenagers walked in. There were several groups of them, and Easton suddenly made a dash through their legs. I turned to tell Syl to stay put, and turned around to grab him. But I was met with a gaggle of pubescent hoodlums. I caught a glimpse of his curly little head as a teenager was holding the main door open for him to run out of. I was still inside, shoving my way through these kids that were totally oblivious. As I finally got out, Easton had dashed into the parking lot where cars quickly drive in to go to the drive-thru. I turned to yell at the kids, who had taken off running & laughing. Luckily, no cars were approaching, no one was injured, and I went back inside to the glares of parents. I guess I didn't think he'd weasel his way through the crowd that fast, or that someone would be smart enough to not hold the door open for him. But I moved as quickly as I could, and I didn't appreciate the glares one bit.

Moral of the story: boys are crazy wild creatures, that are akin to caged wild animals. They will head towards the light of day any chance they get. And the lack of a well-developed brain will carry on into their teenage years, so never trust a 2 year old boy or a teenager.

Some Ideas...

...are better kept to ourselves.

On Running

I have a long-standing date with exercise. Not only is it my (only) break in the day-to-day routine of child-wrangling, but it's the medicine to my hyperactivity. Sure, maybe that's a self-diagnosis, but I'm practically a doctor in some countries. Anyway, I go to the gym or my kettlebells class 4-6 times a week, depending on how busy I am. The kids love the childwatch at the YMCA, so it's pretty easy to go any time of the day. But running? Well, that's a different story.

You see friends, I was never a runner. I did track and field in middle school, but mainly because I needed some friends and joining clubs is how you were forced into friendships. The track we practiced at was nearly 2 miles from our school, so our warm-up everyday would be running to the track. Of course, as the season progressed, my new friends & myself decided that we needed that time to talk, not run. But that's besides the point. The point is, I was never a runner, but I've always excelled at talking.

Fast-forward to my 1 year post-Easton body. It was not pretty. I lost a ton of weight right away with him, then leveled off to the exact pound for 1 entire year. I have one of those breastfeeding bodies that holds onto every single pound of fat, just in case my starving babies need a fix. I was frustrated and exhausted, and decided to take up the only free thing I could think of: running. And by running, I mean jogging. I quickly got hooked, though I couldn't go very far. I'd walk the 6 blocks to the park, run for 4 minutes, then walk a bit, then run a bit. Everyday I went I would set goals a bit farther, never over-extending my boundaries (meaning never breaking through the "wall" or so they call it). I'd go 6 days a week, and in addition to running, I stopped eating bread. Much of my stomach issues subsided and after 3 months, I had lost nearly 15 pounds and could run the entire park (about 3 miles).

The addiction continued through the winter (surprisingly enough) and through the next year. I spent money on decent running clothes, bought good shoes, and ran my first ever 10K in about an hour. On a steady streak of awesome, we joined the gym. Then I stopped running. Now I battle with my love for alone running time, with my kid's love for the gym, with a busy schedule. Running takes up a long chunk of time, and is a rather 1-sided type of work-out.

As much as I love it, I hate running in the summer. I've been forcing myself to go lately at least twice a week, a balance I'm still working on. Though I'm beginning to believe there is no such thing as balance.

Dads

I'm going to be a bit morose here, but I am a member of the Dead Dad's Club. No, it's not an actual dues-paying club, it's one that several of my friends and I have made up. You see, I have lots of friends that lost their dad's at an early age, mine included. My dad would be going on 61 this fall, and he's been gone for 6 years. To me, that's too early. We lost him when I was 4 months pregnant with Sylvia. I hadn't told my pregnancy to my extended family yet, so they all found out about my protruding gut at his funeral. Talk about a roller-coaster of emotions! It was a lot of this:

"Hey there, sooooo sorry about your dad. Wait, are you expecting? Congrats!"

Yeah, awkward to say the least. Anyway, this club sucks to be a part of, and makes Father's Day a bit less exciting. I'm really not a fan of Mother's Day either, because let's be real here: we should be appreciated and appreciate every single day. Hallmark went and decided to profit off this crap that has been naturally occurring for thousands of years. We know, mom's rule, dad's are cool. Cards do nothing for me.

And so, as Father's Day fast approaches, I'm feeling a bit anti-holiday. I don't need a holiday to remind me of my dad we lost way too soon, but I love my husband for the father his is to our 2 children. So instead of coming up with a crafty gift in response to "his" day, I think I'll just treat it like every other day. I'll wake up crabby and tired, send dad off to work, and take care of a few unappreciative kids. Because honestly, it's how it's always been done. Maybe I'll give an extra smooch out the door...

Schooling Update

In an effort to keep everyone in our lives on their toes, we are sending Sylvia to Soulard School this fall. She will be going into kindergarten, and we are super excited. Don't get me wrong, I was sooo excited to homeschool her. But in an honest and realistic state of mind, I am just too busy. I love that my business is taking off so quickly, I love what I do, I want to do more. To homeschool her, I know I'd have to pull back on my shooting schedule, and this is a hard pill to swallow. Like this week, I have 8 shoots in 9 days. I'm behind on all my editing, and I'm about to have 8 shoots more worth of editing. The kids are so used to seeing my nose stuck to the computer, it's not fair to them to miss opportunities because I want to pursue my business.

Also, Sylvia is really desperate to be around kids (all the time). I know somehow we could fill this need in a way, but it would be challenging. Easton naps 3 hours a day, and I'm bogged down with work. We do what we can in the morning, but it's a point of contention when it's time to leave because E is so tired and Syl is just getting started. I know it won't always be like this, but I feel that this small, independent school is the perfect balance.

I can't wait to be part of the community there, I'm hoping it will be a perfect middle ground for all issues I was having with schooling here in St. Louis. Sylvia is already wearing her backpack around the house!!!

Ramble On

Oh my, I've turned into an incredibly bad blogger! I've been stuffed to the brim with photography business, and this poor thing gets left neglected. Same with my homeschooling blog, for that matter. Because ha! Who has time to teach their children anything when they are stuck editing all day? Those poor things, it's quite a shame that mama's "break time" is glued 12 inches from the computer screen. Poor me.

Anyway, life has been hectic, we have lots of random things occuring, so I'm going to use this as a great opportunity to bring back my good old lists! Here goes... (are you bored yet?)

~we purchased 2 ferns for Mother's Day gifts for the grandmas and decided to keep them for our porch. shortly thereafter, a mama bird made the world's most beautifully inctricate nests and laid 5 tiny sparrow eggs. thus far, 2 have hatched. I'm afraid this will be another "circle of life" story for the kids.

~Syl will be doing a 3 full days summer camp next week and I'm beyond thrilled. she is stoked too, and if she likes it, we may be sending her there for school. and that leads into...

~we may not be homeschooling. I'm sooo busy with my business, and I am sooo in love with doing it, that I have to be realistic with my time. I may not have the time to homeschool my children. I may be a modern woman and send my kids off so I may work. it's all still up in the air.

~summer is pretty much here to stay in the Lou. it's hot, humid, and highly tornadic. we just joined the pool and have already been twice. it's heaven.

~I'm booked with some photo job or another for the next month. I currently have 8 photo sessions to edit. help.

~after the kids go to bed, I edit with a glass of white wine until my eyes blur, then I sit outside in silence and drink my wine. it's my new ice cream.

~we are supposed to go to Chicago in a few weeks and I've done absolutely nothing to prepare.

~I've finally broke my addiction to sugar, having cut it out of my diet by probably 90%. it was 4 long days of tired hell, followed by 2 weeks of questioning my stupid decision. but the grand daddy of it all is that I've worked 2 weddings and not eaten any cake. success!

~I should stop blogging and start editing those 8 jobs. dammit.